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Poetry and Such by lcbabe


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August 1, 2013
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You may think I don't notice
But I can always see
The way you look at her
A way you never look at me.
The monster whispers in my ear
"You're not good enough, you know"
I try to wave him off,
Try not to let it show.
That he's tearing at my flesh
Ripping my insides out.
He fills me with self-hatred,
Depression, and self-doubt.
"You'll never make it far,"
He hisses to my heart.
"Cuz you suck at everything,
Like your writing, and your art."
Outwardly, I cringe,
Letting loose a tear.
"This simply isn't true!" I shout.
"My dream come true is near!"
"Everyone else is higher up,"
He laughs and murmurs low.
"You'll never get that high
From where you are so far below."
I wince and pull away,
From something I can't see.
The thing that claws my life apart,
This monster inside of me.
"I have a future," I cry aloud.
"I truly know I do."
The monster only smiles
And to a vicious grin it grew.
"Your future's as dull as you are,
You're dumber than the rest.
And you're just as empty-hearted.
You can feel it in your chest."
I curl into a ball.
I will listen to this no more.
He'll continue this for hours
Like he's done so much before.
But how do you quiet a voice
That is deep inside of you?
There's no way you can mute it,
There's nothing you can do.
He mutters and he whispers,
And he'll murmur and he'll hiss.
Shooting pain straight to my heart
And never does he miss.
He knows my inner weakness,
And he knows my hopes and dreams.
What he doesn't know is I refuse
To be as broken as I seem.
My life is not yet over
I will keep on trying still.
After all it only takes
A little more strength of will.
I ignore him and keep living,
Forget that foul thing.
I cannot let him rule me
HE IS NOT MY KING!
I know he'll always be there, though,
He'll never go away
I just won't let him whisper
Not one more word will he say.
And no one else can tell me
That I can't be what I choose.
Because once you've hit rock bottom
You have nothing left to lose.
Ah, depression is a vile creature...
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:iconlcbabe:
lcbabe Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013
Venom indeed. This was Beautiful. Depression is something so many people deal with on a day to day basis. This would be a wonderful way to reach others. 
I would really like it if you would allow me to put this on my blog. All credit will come back to you and it will include a link back to this page. D.A. is not the only place where people crave your words <3 
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:iconskiar7sy:
SkiAr7sy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Also, if your blog is Tumblr, I could just link you to the post I made there too, and you can just reblog it.
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:iconskiar7sy:
SkiAr7sy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You are more than welcome to. It was a stress relief for me. I had to get it out or die trying. If you could, though, could you link me to your blog? I'd like to see, and maybe see what more people think of it.
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:iconlcbabe:
lcbabe Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
I can link you to it later, it is not Tumblr, although, I am a Tumblr addict xD 
^_^
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:iconskiar7sy:
SkiAr7sy Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
haha me too.
I am feeling quite a bit better now, so perhaps the poem did help to some degree.
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:iconnofxmike06:
nofxmike06 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Interface Designer
My only effective outlet is writing and drawing. You're not alone. I wish you the best.
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:iconskiar7sy:
SkiAr7sy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you. I had hoped the poetry would help. I might just draw today to rid myself of the remainder of the feeling.
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